February 2018 | That Fashion Bambi



Monday, 19 February 2018

Self care, self love, self journey

Does putting yourself first make you selfish? HELL NO.
I am all for rising each other up and supportive others, but putting myself first is something I aim to do in 2018. You may not be like me, but all I do is think about everyone else, putting peoples thoughts/feelings etc before my own. I'm loyal and I like to support every one around me in every way I can. But when it comes to putting myself first I feel rather lost, it's like unknown territory for me. But heres to putting myself first, giving myself self care, self love and focusing of my self journey. Doing so, doesn't mean I care any less about the people around me it just means I focusing on myself a little more. 

As I have mentioned in previous posts I have been working out, interning, finished my degree, turned 21 etc. All of those things have been apart of my self journey and I am proud of the steps I have made and the person I am. But recently I have been thinking about how to better myself, as I always want to learn, improve and develop as a person. Yet I am also kinda scared to get out of my comfort zone. Getting fit was probably my first step of self care, self care to me is the little things, pampering yourself, getting your nails done, eating right, working out and feeling the best you care feel. I feel like people don't do enough of self care, everyones always busy or rushed and the things that seem relevant get forgotten about. I know life is fast, stuff changes all the time but you have to stop.Think.Relax or life just passes you by and you miss it. Self care is a must have in every persons life and I've decided to make self care a priority of mine.

Then theres self love, I guess thats the hardest one for a lot of people. But I believe in the concept of you have to love yourself first before anyone else can. I would say I do that, I know my flaws, my annoying habits and the stuff that makes me tick. I've accepted that and I love who I am. Not in a big headed way, like looks etc. I love myself in a way where I am confident in who I am, what I believe in and what I want in life. Everyone has things they dislike about themselves, I felt unconfident in my body so I started working out. I feel like clothes didn't look as good on me when I was pale, so I fake tan everyday. I over think and over analyse a lot, so I started to read, relax and take long baths. I believe in self love and getting self love can mean that you need to rethink life, what you want from it and who you want to be. That means if there things you don't like about yourself you can do little things to improve them. I don't believe in changing people or blocking out the real you. But I do believe in self growth and falling in love with who you are.

“You can be the most beautiful person in the world and everybody sees light and rainbows when they look at you, but if you yourself don't know it, all of that doesn't even matter. Every second that you spend on doubting your worth, every moment that you use to criticize yourself; is a second of your life wasted, is a moment of your life thrown away. It's not like you have forever, so don't waste any of your seconds, don't throw even one of your moments away.” 
― C. JoyBell C.

Then theres self journey. This is life I guess, your life, your experiences, the life you make. Everyone has days of defeat, days of saddess, days of depression, days of well everything. But there the days you get through, the days that make you stronger. The ones that nearly beat are the ones that actually make you. Guess what, noone no matter what power you think they have over you, not anyone can make you feel those ways, only you do that. You have the power of your mind, your body, your soul and noone can take that away from you. It's your superpower, noone is you. For my self journey I am going to work, thrive and create the world I want, through all the shit times in life there what make the happy times that more rewarding.

I know that my self journey isn't going to be easy, the last 21 years wouldn't have been a breeze but they made me, me. A self journey means focusing on YOU. Putting yourself first. Working hard for what you want. Better yourself as a person. Experiencing life for the good and the bad. Meeting people and creating relationships. Your self journey is what you make it. It doesn't make you selfish it just makes you in control of the life you want to lead forever. So heres to all of our self journeys and the life were gonna make for ourselves.



Fashion Bambi


Sunday, 4 February 2018


Giving up is not an option for me...If I start something, I have to finish it. If its hard work I complete the challenge. Giving up is something I can't do. What am I referring too? My degree and my career.

As some readers will know, I got my BA Honours degree in Fashion Styling and Image Making last year and graduated in July. It was a long journey and I was glad for the finish line. I am so proud I got my degree and achieved that. But the journey after determines where your life will go. Unfortunately I didn't come out of university and have a job lined up. I started job hunting from may last year and nothing seem to come from anything I had applied for. Months later, a new year later and I am still not in full time, permanent employment. But its the time in between which lead me to my current position at AX Paris interning as a fashion assistant.

The first month off from university was my time of rest and enjoyment. But it soon became repetitive and beyond boring. Waiting around all day for people around me to finish work so I had someone to talk to and becoming completely hooked on netflix (I still am). I started the gym, began working out and also started up my blog properly and became addicted to social media. So yes it had its benefits because I am still loving blogging and working out has changed me a lot too. But its the mental stuff, the emotions, the self doubt. Thinking ugh why haven't I got a job yet? Am I not good enough? How long will I be out of work? so many questions were rolling around my head, I really began to doubt everything I had worked for.

It's so normal to start to rethink your future and what you will do with your life. Should I just jack it all in and work at my part time job full time and give up the dream. I just want to earn money, should I get a job anywhere? and I guess people go either way, you don't give up and go through the process or you let your life begin now and make the change. I really don't blame these people that choose to career change or not even use their degree because I know how hard it is to get somewhere and how life makes you feel like your behind. But I won't give up...am I there yet? No. Am I further than I was a month ago, Yes.


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All I kept getting was, you don't have enough experience...I was applying for jobs my degree had specialised in but that didn't matter. I didn't have enough experience and nowhere would give me a chance. I did a 6 week internship while I was doing my degree at Selfridges as a visual merchandiser but even that wasn't enough experience and specific enough for the roles I was applying for. But I kept at it, kept applying, sending out emails, pushing and pushing. But nothing seemed to budge, it just didn't matter that I has worked my arse off for the last 5 years in fashion and that I was really passionate and hard working. All of that didn't matter.

Then finally, I took the plunge and finally feel like I am getting somewhere. I have been interning at AX Paris for the last week as a fashion assistant and I will continue to intern with them. The bad news, I am unpaid. Therefor I am working 6 days a week to still get money in at the weekend. But wanna know the worst part? I am working for free yet I have busted a gut for the last 3 years to get my degree and working for free is my only option. But as you know, I am all for the positives so...I am gaining so much experience in my career choice for such a great company, already I have assisted on fashion shoots being a styling assistant, to shooting the product photography for the website, social media scheduling, editing and retouching and thats only week 1. This is experience that will push my cv that bit higher and make my chances that bit easier (well, I hope). So, like everything there is pros and cons but for me I am focusing on the pros and how much this will help me. Yeah I am knackered and skint but hey, least I am not giving up and giving myself the best chance.

No I am not a stylist/photographer yet and I haven't made it (yet). But yes I am on my way. I wanted to write this post to show why giving up isn't an option for me. Even though this journey is taking a lot longer than I'd hoped, its happening and I am being me along the way. If it takes you 1 month or 1 year it doesn't matter as long as its worth it. I believe in hard work and I don't know where my life or my career is going to take me, but I am excited to see where that might be. I am jumping in both feet first and soaking up every ouch of knowledge and skills I can to kickstart my future. Last week felt like the first day of my career, no matter where this role takes me its further than I was a month ago and to me, thats progress. Progress means its not worth giving up on and to stick at it. So I will.


Fashion Bambi 

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